Growing up as a female in the South, somewhere around the buckle of the bible belt, you never spoke of sex. You whispered in hushed voices, with undertones of shame and guilt. You learned early that sex outside of marriage was a sin, and within marriage it was obligatory at best. Masturbation was as sinful as premarital sex, particularly for females. Boys will be boys, but girls were to be Southern Belles, demure and pure.
I grew up in a typical southern home, attended Southern Baptist Church most Sundays. We were not an ultra religious family, not at church every time the doors opened nor hosting weekly bible study. Non the less, these ideas of female sexuality, or the lack there of, were ingrained in me and created internal conflict as I became a normal, hormonal teen.
Hormones, and perhaps common sense, won out over church teachings and I did not “wait until marriage”. However, well into my 20s, sexual exploration both with a partner and on my own continued to be intertwined with guilt. It took me a good decade to become comfortable with myself as a sexual being.
The focus of this blog is to challenge the stereotype of female sexuality as I have known it in the South, embrace my sexuality, and share knowledge.
Sex and the Southern Belle 